“Smiling on the outside, crying on the inside”
We here at the Robbie Gould Fan Club (RGFC) are still a bit steamed over yesterday’s game. We spent the early afternoon pumping ourselves up by watching Old Man River Favre beat Chunky Soup McNabb (Sporadic, Anti-Fantasy Gold Quarterbacks UNITE!) and doing all sorts of ab work in advance of the game. We put on our homemade Robbie Gould jerseys, did some more ab work and settled in to watch our Bears, lead by #9, take on the Chargers lead by #10 PK Nate Kaeding.
However, we should have known that something wasn’t right when we sent Chris Leak (cut by the Bears, signed by the RGFC to our practice squad) out to pick up the squad some goodies. We were thinking some chips/salsa, maybe Funyuns, definitely bagel bites and he comes back with a half-eaten bag of Salsa Verde doritos, some Slim Jims from the nearby gas station and two cans of Jolt! cola from 1994.
Just like the old adage says, you don’t send a washed up Florida QB to do a man’s job
To make matters worse, Joe Buck was announcing the game which, in the land of the RGFC, is akin to a hard kick in the junk. This guy couldn’t be more anti-Chicago (except for maybe that serial killer in Devil in the White City). Seriously, I would have taken all-time white WR Hall of Famer Tom Waddle instead of Buck (too easy to make an Aikman gay joke here).
So, before the game even started, we had lost. Leak dropped the ball. Buck was announcing the game and one of the RGFC interns misspelled “Gould” on their jersey as “Gold”. We sent him to the penalty box to feel shame.
Bears lose 14-3.
Only points coming on an extra smooth, extra perfect Robbie Gould FG. Still pissed about this one…
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